Nailed it or Blood, sweat and screams

It's the morning of the big one - 22 miles. Friday night I organised all my gear and the plan was for Claudia to wake me up with one of her sky-ripping cries that mean "I'm awake, time to feed" sometime between 5:45 and 6:00am as is her way. Saturday morning and I hear a little whimper at 4:30am but it passes and I drift back off into my dream (something about an old friends wedding, Tina, and me punching an even older friend, Trevor Brown, because he pushed my donkey over and laughed). Then there it is Claudia is awake and she wants her milk, aka Sharon's breasts. I look at the clock and it is 6:25. You can't rely on anyone these days. Five minutes later I have my shorts on and I'm downstairs preparing my breakfast, Cheerios, skimmed milk, a banana and an isotonic drink. Next it's vest on, this is my new race-day vest I'm trying out, feet gelled, socks and trainers on and 15 minutes of stretching as per my physio-terrorists orders. I now have 10-15 minutes to let my cheerios and banana settle and watch Sky Sports News in which time the rest of the clan have decided to get up. My rest then consists of getting Sharon a cup of tea and having to explain every piece of equipment and give it a human name to George. Howard the mp3 player, Barry the belt, Lucy the carbo-gel and so on. At about 7:10am I am kitted out and out the door for the second longest run I have ever done.
The plan is run from Shepherds Bush through Holland Park and Notting Hill into Hyde Park then 4 laps then home - sounds easy. The weather is fairly perfect for running, overcast and there is a wet mist hanging in the air although this does make it a little cold to start with as I am running only in vest and shorts for the first time this year. As I cruise up Notting Hill I have now warmed up and am feeling good. After around 25 minutes running I enter Hyde Park. At this time in the morning there are very few people, mainly runners and a few walkers. It's a lovely feeling to have such a large park practically to myself. As I pass the Albert Memorial and head toward the Household Cavalry barracks a group of 6 horses canter past. As I reach about 5 miles I am aware that this is where my calf tightened last week, paranoia sets in immediately and for the rest of the first lap I am waiting for something to go wrong - fortunately nothing does. I head into the 2nd lap at a good pace and feeling good I am already saying to myself "after this lap I'm half way". The weather is still good, warming up slightly and the mist is clearing. the park is still relatively empty, no cafes open, Speakers Corner speechless and tourists still tucking into their full English at the hotel. I have 3 carbo-gels on me and 2 small bottle of isotonice lucozade. On the second lap I allow my my first gel at 8 miles. Unfortunately I was squeezing the sachet slightly too hard as I ripped the top off and about a third of the gel shot up into the air and landed partly on my leg partly on the ground. I quickly drink down the remaining elixir and carry on. After 5 minutes I do feel a boost, the only down side is the spilt gel has now dried and there are streaks down my leg that look very much like I have "done a Paula" and pee'd myself. As I finish the second lapmy garmin shows just over 10 miles covered, that means I'll need to add a little to the route to clock 22 miles. On the third lap the park is getting busier and there looks like an organised race has started though we do not clash routes. At around 13 miles my calfs do feel slightly tighter but this is to be expected I tell myself and the occasional twinge in the knee/hip/ankle I ignore. I hit 14 miles and take another gel this time completely orally. These gels are really good and the make I've settled on are fairly watery so you don't need to wash them down and waste water, they taste a bit like unset strawberry jelly. I start the last and still feel good overall though have started fantasising about pints of shandy, marmite sandwiches and KFC's. As I complete the final lap I decide to add the extra mileage necessary in the park so start another part lap. By now it's around 10:00am and the park is getting busy, the sun has come out and so have the tourists all of whom seem fascinated by blossom! I run passed the Albert Memorial for a final time then up passed the Diana memorial then head toward the exit as the garmin gets up to 19 miles. As I leave the park a helicopter thunders over head and lands in the gardens of Kensington Palace, don't really know why I've mentioned this just thought I would. I finish my last gel and have one sip of drink left. I am really feeling my legs now but just tiredness not injury as I stumble-run down through Notting Hill. This down-hill stretch is probably a god-send but I don't really notice it! As I get to Shepherds Bush Green I know there is only a mile to go which spurs me on. Uxbridge Road has come to life now with most shops open quite a few people milling about. Finally I reach the Princess Vic and turn right into my road for the last few hundred yard or in metric the last few hundred metres. Just under 3 and a half hours after setting off I reach my front door. I ring the bell and hear George charge like a small bull elephant to look out of the letter flap and shout "Daddy's back, come in garden with me". Sharon opens the door, looks at me then says "Urrr, oh my god, are you okay, oo my legs are going". Just then the neighbours come out, Ed says "Is that what I think it is" and Marielle just screams. It is now I follow there stares to my chest covered in my rather snazzy Ron Hill running vest, white with orange detail. However a third colour had been added - red, in 2 patches where my nipples have been rubbed raw. It looks like a couple of gun shot wounds.
The neighbours disperse, Sharon and the kids go off to the farmers market and leave me to tend to my wounds and shower. After 20 mins I have showered and dressed and feel amazingly good. Calfs are a little stiff as expected but everything else is fine, not even my nipples hurt - miles of training have toughened them up. So after putting my vest in a bowl of vanish I hobble off to the market to meet the family. That's it, that's the biggy done and it's the longest I have ever run continuously as during the marathon last year I had to walk a couple of times from 19 miles. Now the taper starts, same intensity when training but reduced mileage. All in all a good start to the weekend.